To Go or Not to Go, That is the Question

I was impressively sick on Saturday and Sunday–the usual autumn into winter cold that seems to overrun my system for a week each year. That means that between naps and the occasional episode of Modern Love (brilliant btw), I was scrolling the Explore tab on Instagram pretty hot and heavy. I know. I’m not proud of this, but a fact is a fact. That 1 hr of social media time reminder was *swoosh* tossed out the window by noon on both days.

Something that caught my eye during that time and has been playing around in my brain ever since was that these two phrases came up over and over and over again. (To be fair, it’s something that’s been going through my head in a less in-your-face manner for over a month now, so I’m pretty sure my brain was primed to notice it.)

  • Don’t go where you’re not wanted.
  • Go where you’re wanted.

Two sides of the same coin, of course. Since it’s going to be the new year again before we know it, I’ve been starting to consider what I’m going to do in 2020–especially as it relates to travel.

When I think about the trips I’ve most enjoyed, the ones that where I was as sad to leave as I was happy to arrive were the ones that were preceded by a request for assistance or support, were jointly considered as a way to visit a new place together, or were planned after a heartfelt “I miss you. When can you come for a visit?”

I went where (and when) I was wanted, and it was wonderful.

And the worst trips I’ve ever taken, the trips when I calculated the change penalty for an earlier return flight, where I sat in my Air B&B room feeling worthless and uncared about, where I wondered how much it hurts to hit water at terminal velocity were trips where I believed that someone would want to see me just because I missed them, trips where I decided that it was a good time for me to visit to celebrate xyz even though they never said they wanted me to visit at that time or cared about xyz, trips where I booked a flight and a room for myself in the area simply because I believed that I would be welcomed, especially since I was putting forth the effort (and expense) to arrive.

I went where (and when) I wasn’t wanted, and it was devastating.

So what do my travel plans for 2020 entail so far? Not much, but I know that I’ll be welcomed with open arms and feel loved and appreciated every day of that short visit this coming spring.