Time for a Jamie weather report.
So for several days now I’ve had some truly stellar headaches from the vacillating atmospheric pressure that comes with large weather changes on the Prairie (and throughout the Midwest). It’s up, it’s down, it’s quiet, it’s thunderstorms. In short, it’s full-on mercurial. Good times.
Two days ago I finally dug deep and asked for help getting a photo reworked and – during the simple edits it needed – the completely rational and utterly terrifying comment was made that I really should just download the Lightroom software so I could do these myself. I knew this. I knew learning it wasn’t beyond me. I knew I wasn’t comfortable taking this on at the moment, but I also knew that if I waited until I was ready that I’d never do it.
Update 48 hrs later: I’m not ready. I’m not going to be ready. I just need to do it. So I got the software loaded yesterday morning and actively avoided it pretty much the rest of the day. I couldn’t even touch my computer, despite encouragement and a bit of gentle text-based prodding. Sometimes it’s so nice not having to look someone in the eye when you’re acting like a coward.
Today I dove in and the brain injury deficits and side effects have been on hours-long demonstration. Whenever I want a reminder of where I was cognitively and where I am now, I just try to learn something completely new. Plat du jour: Tears, anger, frustration, despair, rocketing self-doubt and a side of plummeting self-worth. Garnished with the knowledge that this isn’t hard to master! Mmmm, delicious. I popped a few unnecessary errands into the day’s mix to help keep some perspective but I gotta admit that I’m beyond fried as of 6:40 pm. Time to stop until tomorrow.
As an added bonus, my Massage Therapy session yesterday has my left side looking and feeling like I’ve been hit by a car. Seriously, I’ve been hit by a car before. The similarities in my skin are impressive. I always think, “Oh a massage, that’ll be so soothing.” Afterwards I remember that the name also includes the word therapy, so I really should expect discomfort and pain too.
Tonight Jeff was kind enough to volunteer to feed us and wrangled up some hamburgers. They were just what I needed. Simple, tasty, and not made by me. Let’s all hope for calmer internal skies tomorrow.
A big hug to anyone out there that’s needing it.